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WiGWAG: News with a twist and sometimes a punchline

JINGLING JOE

A Kmart commercial for Joe Boxer that features boxer-clad men jiggling their junk to the tune of “Jingle Bells” is stirring ire among the world’s human-body-hating humans (i.e., the fervent religious followers of the human-body maker). The ad begins with a row of bow-tied men ringing bells in front of a white banquet table. The table is yanked away, revealing the men stripped down to their skivvies and shaking it. Whether you think it’s naughty or nice, “Show Your Joe” is less sexploitive than the average Victoria’s Secret ad.

DRIVEN TO DEFICIT

The National Organization for Marriage has come up empty in the past year or so in repeated attempts to block marriage equality in the states. NOM lost in Maryland, Washington, Rhode Island, Minnesota, Delaware, Maine, Hawaii and Illinois in the last 12 months. And the right-wing group is feeling the impact on its bank account. The political arm of NOM has borrowed $1.7 million from the educational arm to cover a deficit. The lesson: Don’t bank on hate.

MODERN FAMILY

Mom and Dad Cheney aren’t happy with the high-profile public feud their daughters are waging over same-sex marriage. Daughter Liz is running for the U.S. Senate in Wyoming and is courting the religious right vote with repeated affirmations that same-sex marriage is wrong. Daughter Mary, who is a lesbian and married her longtime partner in the District of Columbia, has responded that her sister is wrong. Their parents, in a statement to the press, said that the family has dealt privately with the issue for years and they are “pained to see it become public.” Of course, at WiG, we’ve been pained for years that the Cheney family has any public role.

BALDWIN'S MOUTH

MSNBC suspended Alec Baldwin’s new weekly talk show for two episodes after his latest videotaped public meltdown, which was laced with homophobic insults. Baldwin said he was “deeply sorry” for calling a photo
grapher what sounded like “cocksucking fag.” At first, he denied using the word “fag,” insisting that he said “fathead.” He later admitted to using that epithet, but claimed that he didn’t know “cocksucking” was offensive to gays. Up Late with Alec Baldwin airs on Fridays, if any “cocksucking fags” or their friends care to tune in.

SAD CHOICES

In the final hours of this year’s Wisconsin Assembly session, the Republican majority voted to create a special “Choose Life” license plate. Proceeds from sales of the plate will go to Choose Life Wisconsin Inc., an organization seeking to force women to bear children, whether they want them or not. Republicans in the House also killed a Democrat-proposed resolution to honor the 26 people — mostly children — killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting last year in Connecticut. Their vote is likely the result of allegiance to the National Rifle Association, which opposes any action that draws attention to gun violence.

DISHING IT

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently delivered a message with some spice to Jon Stewart, who mocked the city’s love for its deep-dish pizza pie on The Daily Show. Stewart said Chicago’s famed pizza was “an above-ground marina swimming pool for rats.” Not one of his craftier quips, but enough to goad Emanuel to action. The Second City mayor sent the staff of the New York-based show an anchovy-covered pizza with a note: “Jon, Deep Dish with Dead Fish. Love, Rahm.” The Daily Show staff tweeted a video of a dog sniffing and passing by the pizza, which, it turns out, was made in New York City.

RETAIL FICTION

Retailer Costco has apologized for labeling Bibles as fiction at a store in Simi Valley, Calif. A local pastor photographed the label and posted the picture on Twitter, setting off a predictable uproar from fundamentalist Christians. In an email to Fox News, Costco officials said they “deeply regretted” the incident and “meant no offense.” The reaction on Twitter has been mixed, according to USA Today.

BUY MORE AWARDS

Dan T. Cathy, president and CEO of Chick-fil-A, won an award at the Urban League of Greater Atlanta’s annual Equal Opportunity Day dinner. Cathy received the honor despite proudly boasting of his opposition to equality for LGBT people and staunchly defending his family foundation’s funding for hate groups such as the Family Research Council. The urban league explained its award to Cathy in a Facebook post, noting the “significant financial contributions” from Cathy and the Chick-fil-A Foundation.

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