News with a twist



It’s bad enough to call the police because you think the thermos containing the sperm and dry ice for your artificial insemination exploded. It gets worse when you call 911 to report it, though, and the sheriff’s office posts the story on its Facebook page — and the next day a news crew shows up at your door. That’s what happened to a Florida woman, who was unable to persuade the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office to remove the post, which included a stock photo of a woman with a disgusted expression.

Royal skies

Some Dutch passengers on KLM flights might have recognized the co-pilot’s voice when he introduced himself on the airline’s Cityhopper services. It was not just their co-pilot telling them weather conditions and estimated time of arrival. It was their king. King Willem-Alexander has served as a regular “guest pilot” for 21 years. The 50-year-old father of three and monarch to 17 million Dutch citizens calls flying a “hobby” that lets him leave his royal duties on the ground.

Dual purpose suit

Sophia George, 88, bought her husband a new gray suit to wear to their 70th anniversary party, which included a renewal of their vows. She figured it was a good investment because he’ll be able to wear it again to his funeral, she said. He’s 93, and recently had a mini stroke. Sophia, on the other hand, is in great health. She led a conga line through the banquet hall.

The company he keeps

Donald Trump’s longtime lawyer Michael Cohen is under fire for posting a picture on social media of his daughter wearing only a black lace bra and stockings. The incident was reminiscent of Trump’s statement during the campaign that he’d perhaps date Ivanka, if she didn’t happen to be his daughter.

Don’t try this at home

A woman pumping gas near downtown Milwaukee stopped a thief from stealing her SUV by jumping on its hood and clinging to the windshield wipers as the man tried to drive away in her vehicle. Video of the attempted carjacking shows the would-be thief braking in the gas station parking lot as he tries to throw Melissa Smith off the hood. The suspect gave up and jumped into another vehicle waiting in the parking lot. Smith admits it may not have been the wisest thing to do.

Fashion backlash

First lady Melania Trump came under fire for wearing a $51,000 Dolce & Gabbana floral jacket in Italy. Critics noted that the value almost equals the median income — $55,775 — for an American family. They say such opulence is just one of many inconsistencies with the president’s campaign promise to focus on everyday workers.

‘Hail Hydra’

Images of President Donald Trump with his hands on a glowing orb are lighting up social media. Trump, on his trip to the Middle East, joined Saudi King Salman bin Abdulaziz and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi in placing hands on an orb to officially open a Saudi center for combating extremism. And what fun folks had on Twitter, especially tweeters who know a thing or two about comic book villains and sci-fi evil-doers.

Poppies. Poppies. Poppies

“With poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell.” So said the Wicked Witch of the West. Well, authorities in Catawba County, North Carolina, recently seized an acre of poppy plants valued at about $500 million. The AP reported a person who answered a narcotics investigator’s knock on the door said, “I guess you’re here about the opium.” Authorities arrested one person whom they charged with manufacturing and trafficking by possession.

Bear claws and doughnuts

Doughnut-makers in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, discovered their delivery vehicle damaged in a bear attack — and they know why. The owners of the Moose Watch Cafe found their Ford Focus with claw and paw marks and missing a bumper one morning, and they are certain the bear caught a scent of what usually is inside the trunk. A police officer confirmed the trunk smelled like doughnuts — and said a cop should know. The cafe marked the occasion by selling bear claws.

Polly wants a chocolate?

Mojang, the makers of Minecraft, will be updating the popular video game in response to an outcry over in-game parrots eating chocolate. People protested that in the game, players breed parrots by feeding the birds chocolate chip cookies. The concern is that kids might feed real world birds chocolate, which can be toxic. Minecraft responded by saying it will change what the birds eat. As for confusing kids about how parrots breed? Well …

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