WiGWAG: A Cher musical, trapped in an ATM, and more

Texas hold ’em

A man hired to service an ATM at a Bank of America in Corpus Christi, Texas, found himself locked inside an ATM access — and he’d left his cellphone and keycard in his truck. When he realized customers were at the ATM to withdraw cash, he started passing notes through the receipt slot on the machine. “Please help. I’m stuck in here and I don’t have my phone.” Police said customers thought they were being pranked, but one called police after hearing an ever-so faint voice seeming to come from inside the ATM.

All shook up

More than a few people fell for an old hoax recently recycled by Now8News and circulated on YouTube. The fake story goes like this: Elvis Presley did not die Aug. 16, 1977, but instead entered the federal witness protection program. He only died recently, as a homeless man living in San Diego and going by the name of Jessie. All that would come as a shock to the tens of thousands of pilgrims preparing to visit Elvis’ grave at his Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee, in August for the 40th anniversary of the King’s death. Elvis Week begins Aug. 11 and continues through Aug. 19.

This one’s on the Federal Reserve

Those guarantees about your money being safe at the bank? The Federal Reserve’s going to have to come through and replace an unspecified amount of cash ruined by flooding at the Fox River State Bank in Burlington, Wisconsin. When the Fox rose past flood stage, water flooded the bank and its vault, which is water-resistant but not waterproof. The water reached as high as 21 inches inside the bank.

Oversight

The current issue of the British medical journal, BMJ, contains a case report about a woman scheduled for cataract surgery based on her complaints about vision problems. Her doctors, however, discovered 27 contact lenses in her right eye. The woman had been wearing disposable lenses for 35 years and, apparently not all of them were disposed of.

At the ‘dive in’

In 1975, the movie-going public was warned about seeing Jaws: “You’ll never go in the water again.” Well, in July, to celebrate Shark Week, the brave and the bold paid $55 not only to go into the water but also to watch Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws 3 and Jaws: The Revenge while bobbing on inner tubes in Lake Travis in Austin, Texas. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema movie parties featured sneaky scuba divers to guarantee plenty of screaming during the screenings.

Over a cliff, again and again

Remember those long summer days spent playing video games? Yes, WiGWAG is talking about last week, when we became obsessed with an online game — “Push Trump Off a Cliff Again!” — at pushtrumpoffacliffagain.com. Using simple keystrokes or mouse clicks, players could send Trump running, jumping, flying and dancing over a cliff or into a volcano. As Trump tumbles, he says “bye” and “I’m really rich.”

Bad call

A Florida drug dealer called the sheriff’s office in Okaloosa County to report that someone broke into his car and stole $50 in cash, a crack pipe and a quarter-ounce of cocaine. Unluckily for the complainant, a deputy found the car with the cash missing but the drugs and paraphernalia untouched.

Egg on their faces

Two Florida teens picked the wrong bicyclist to throw an egg at: The cyclist was a police officer. He chased the vehicle and called for help with his cellphone. A responding patrol officer pulled over the teens’ car and found two cartons of eggs and a small amount of marijuana.

Tres Cher

Cher is the subject of a new musical that producers say could hit the stage next year. The three-act play will focus on the superstar at three stages of her storied life, and three actors will portray her as “Babe,” “Lady” and “Star.” Tony award-winning writer Rick Elice is at work on the production, which will feature such hits as “I Got You Babe,” “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves,” “Believe,” and “If I Could Turn Back Time.”

Big tipper

Actor/singer Donnie Wahlberg left a $2,000 tip on an $82.60 bill for workers at a Waffle House in Charlotte, North Carolina. He explained the generosity on Facebook: “My mom waited tables, and my dad tended bars — for years! So, when I walk into a #WaffleHouse, and the staff treats me like a king, you better believe I treat them like queens!”