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WiGWAG: Cry me a river, you say?

WiGWAG: Cry me a river, you say?

Cry me a river, you say? Natural science students at the University of Leicester, England, set out to determine the plausibility of the world’s population crying enough tears to create a river — based on the flow rate of the world’s shortest river. Montana’s Roe River is 201 feet long and discharges about 709,190,040 liters of water per day. The average human tear is about 6.2 micro liters and even if everyone on Earth was sobbing, there’d be no river. However, the students calculated, if everyone cried 55 tears they could fill an Olympic-sized pool.

Koch brothers pull false ad: The Koch brothers’ Freedom Partners Action Fund decided to nix a $2 million attack on Russ Feingold after three Wisconsin TV stations refused to air it. Why? The attack was an utter fabrication. In fact, it is Sen. Ron Johnson, the Koch brothers’ candidate, who is guilty of the charge Feingold is accused of in the commercial.

That’s not my name. A Muslim high school student in California says she’s identified as “Isis Phillips” in the yearbook recently issued at Osos High School in California. Bayan Zehlif says school administration informed her the ID under her class photo was a “typo.” That “typo” halted distribution of the yearbook until the name could be corrected.

Bravo, bravo. Carmina Beerana, the latest specialty beer from Brewery Vivant in Grand Rapids, Michigan, toasts Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana,” a classical piece inspired by monks. The beer is part of the brewery’s collaboration with the Grand Rapids Symphony. The beer has a bold fruit flavor, a clean and bitter finish and some Belgian character.

Better than hemorrhoids. Rachel Maddow recently published data that identified things that fare worse in polls than presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. The list included: lice, traffic jams, used car salesmen, root canals, jury duty, hipsters and the DMV. “To be fair,” Maddow pointed out, “Trump is losing in single digits to some of these.” Trump also can take heart from the fact he polled better than hemorrhoids.

Trump 101. Students at Georgia’s Savannah State University can enroll this summer in a three-credit course on “The Trump Factor in American Politics.” They will study Trump’s biography, read excerpts from his bestseller, The Art of the Deal, dissect some of his more controversial proposals and delve into how Trump became the presumptive Republican nominee. Savannah State is a historically black campus of about 4,900 students.

Civics lesson. An 18-year-old who toured an Ohio high school while posing as a state senator has been sentenced to three months in jail for impersonating a peace officer. Authorities say the young man spoke to a government class in Sycamore, Ohio, in December 2015. School officials didn’t realize they hadn’t hosted a senator until weeks later.

Culprit was a rat. A tip from the public led the FBI to arrest a man who’d allegedly been putting a mouse poison on food at a Michigan Whole Foods and other stores over a two-week period. “Our joint investigation leads us to believe that this individual sprayed a liquid mixture of hand sanitizer, water, and Tomcat mice poison on produce,” an FBI special agent told the Detroit News. No explanation was offered.

Letting it out. Transgender actress and activist Shakina Nayfack isn’t just speaking out against North Carolina’s “bathroom bill.” She’s peeing out. As she takes her solo act around the state this summer, she’ll take selfies of herself squatting to take a whiz in men’s urinals and post them on social media.

Baring it. Photographer Spencer Tunick is looking for 100 women to pose nude for a photo shoot on July 17 at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. For the shoot, titled “Everything She Says Means Everything,” 100 naked women will hold up large mirror discs that reflect “the knowledge and wisdom of progressive women and the concept of Mother Nature,” according to Tunick’s website.

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