WiGWag: The twisted best of 2012

Wholesome as apple pie

Vermont-based Ben & Jerry’s renamed its Apple Pie-flavored ice cream to Appl-y Ever After to promote marriage equality in the U.K. The company said, “Social justice is at the core of our values. Since our humble beginning 34 years ago, Ben & Jerry’s has been an advocate for equal rights.” A couple years ago, B&J renamed its popular Chubby Hubby flavor to Hubby Hubby to celebrate marriage equality in Vermont.

Mary visits Mary’s

Hamburger Mary’s, a restaurant known for its gay karaoke and drag queen bingo nights, was the latest eatery to report a sighting of the Virgin Mary. Customers of a franchise of the restaurant chain located in the Ybor City neighborhood of Tampa, Fla., first noticed the image on a stainless steel plate on the wall near the kitchen. The restaurant’s tagline is, “Eat, drink and be Mary.”

Bone picks

A headline in Britain’s The Sun newspaper summed up Tory MP Peter Bone’s concern about legalizing same-sex marriage: “Gay marriage law means ‘there could be two Queens’ on the throne.” The British government was in a “consultation” process intended to result in a final proposal to legalize same-sex marriages by 2015. Bone said there were too many unanswered questions about how legalizing gay marriage would impact the royal family: Would royals also be able to enter into civil same-sex marriages? Could there be two lesbian queens? A pair of gay kings?

Unfair and Unbalanced

A Fox News Orlando affiliate aired a report describing the National Socialist Movement, a Neo-Nazi organization, as “a civil rights group.” The focus of the station’s report was the group’s armed patrols of Sanford, Fla., where Trayvon Martin was killed. “They say they are just a civil rights group trying to protect people in case things get out of hand,” concluded Fox reporter Jennifer Bisram. She failed to mention that this particular civil rights group refers to Adolf Hitler as “our Fuhrer, the beloved Holy Father of our age.”

Real creepy

Real Doll, the company that creates creepy, life-like, life-size silicone female dolls equipped to provide sexual pleasure, announced the production of life-size male dolls. The standard male model came with “anal entry, plus one size penis attachment.” Buyers could select everything from eye color to pubic hairstyle. The cost: $5,999.

Cables crossed

On April 20 in Ontario, Canada, cable station CHCH aired three minutes of “hardcore” gay porn at the end of its morning newscast. The station said a cable company employee inserted the wrong programming after repairing cut cable lines.

The USS Milk?

U.S. Rep. Bob Filner, a San Diego Democrat, wanted the Navy to name a ship after slain San Francisco gay rights activist Harvey Milk. In a letter to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and Navy Secretary Ray Mabus, Filner said naming a ship after Milk would promote equality in the military after the repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Milk, who was a Navy officer in the 1950s, was shot to death on Nov. 27, 1978, while serving as a San Francisco supervisor.

Romney apology

Mitt Romney went on Fox News to apologize over reports that he’d bullied gay students during high school. The Washington Post uncovered Romney’s youthful shenanigans in interviews with his former classmates at the exclusive Cranbrook School in Michigan. “Back in high school, I did some dumb things,” Romney said. “And if anyone was hurt by that or offended, obviously I apologize for that.”

He’s out

Alan Scott, aka the Green Lantern, came out. Actually, in the latest incarnation of the character, he was never in. DC Comics brought back the character first introduced to a super-fan base in 1940. The Green Lantern has had multiple personalities and names over the years, but he’s always had his power ring, one of the most dangerous weapons in the universe. The newest Green Lantern is gay, partnered and all-American.

She’s not

Queen Latifah got caught in a gay Web whirlwind in June. Even the most respected news outlets rushed to publish false stories that she’d come out at Long Beach’s LGBT Pride celebration. Their proof was apparently nothing more than the fact that she’d performed at a Pride event – after all, only LGBT people perform at Pride events – and that she’d referred to her audience as “my people.” After all, she could only have been referring to gays, not to Californians or progressives or, um, her fans – right?

With friends like you …

Actor Max von Essen, who was in the Broadway revival of “Evita,” published an open letter on his Facebook page asking all Mitt Romney supporters to unfriend him. The gay actor said he wanted those connected to him to know that by supporting Romney, they are opposing him, his life and his ability to love a partner and raise a family.

Butt bong or bust?

A University of Tennessee student was alleging an invasion of privacy after the Knoxville police released a report stating that he suffered poisoning from a wine enema. He also said the reports were false, as were insinuations that he’s gay. Broughton said as a Christian he would never desecrate his body in such a way. Rather, he said, he consumed a six-pack of beer on an empty stomach and then played a wine-drinking game. When he passed out, his frat brothers hoisted him by his belt to take him to the hospital – and that’s how he injured his private area, he said. But police say they had proof Alexander Broughton sought emergency treatment after a butt bong.

Some blessing

An ordained Christian “counselor” devoted to “freeing” people from homosexuality was charged with eight counts of criminal sexual conduct after two young men filed complaints against him in Minnesota. The Rev. Ryan J. Muelhauser, who’s affiliated with a group that claims to cure same-sex attraction through prayer, allegedly fondled the two young men, who had sought his help to rid themselves of homosexuality. One young man said the pastor cupped his genitals with his hands several times to bless him. Both men said the pastor had them masturbate in front of him, telling them it would bring them spiritual strength.