Car trouble | Lisa Mercedes and Minnie Cooper idle at the 2011 Chicago Auto Show

Gregg Shapiro and Rick Karlin

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“Toyota has hot models.”

“Are you talking about the cars, Lisa?

“No, I’m talking about the models. I’d like to touch his screen to explore and discover.”

Fiat 500

“Would you look at the rear on that one?”

“That’s the new Fiat 500, Minnie.”

“I wasn’t talking about the car.”

Tricked out Scion

“Is that Ursula the Sea Witch’s ride?”

“No, that’s a tricked-out Scion.”

Nissan Leaf

“Talk about turning over a new Leaf.”

“Girl, I wish my husband had zero emissions.”

“The Nissan Leaf is better than a husband. You just have to plug it in.”

Kia Soul

“Lisa, do you think the Kia Soul is kind of gay”?

“Maybe if you’re a hamster.”

CT 200h Lexus Hybrid

“That CT 200h Lexus Hybrid is sure sexy.”

“I went to cosmetology school with Alexis Hybrid.”

Camaro

“Did you know I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Camaro?”

“You did? I lost mine in the front seat. Stick shift!”

Hyundai Curb

“Minnie, I think I found the gayest car at the 2011 Chicago Auto Show. The Hyundai Curb concept.”

“Why do you say that, Lisa?” “Look at those doors! You could get in and out of that vehicle in a hoop skirt and tiara and never have to worry about a thing.”

“Lisa, I learned an important lesson today. Gear heads are cute.”

“That’s funny, I was just going to say that if you ever feel bad about the way you look, just go to the auto show.”

“Or the state fair.”

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“What’s our assignment today, Minnie?

“Who do you think we are, ‘Charlie’s Angels’? Our editor wants a report about the 2011 Chicago Auto Show. We’re looking for cars with LGBT appeal.”

“I don’t know nothin’ about drivin’ no cars.”

“Lisa, would you look at that? The Toyota exhibit is right near the entrance.”

“There’s an example of product placement. How much do you think they paid for that?”

“More than we’ll ever see. Speaking of more, there’s the new Prius wagon.”