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Written by Scott Foval, Contributing writer
Feb 24, 2011
A Valentine’s weekend forum explored the role of trust in relationships – specifically the trust between domestic partners and their professional advisors.
LGBT couples concerned about finances, relationship issues, legal affairs and estate planning attended the LGBT Relationship Forum, Feb. 12 at the Madison Club, 5 E. Wilson St., Madison.
The forum was repeated on Feb. 19 at the Milwaukee Athletic Club, 758 N. Broadway in Milwaukee.
Presenters included Balisle & Roberson attorney Christopher Krimmer, Ameriprise financial planner Shannon Anderson and psychologists David Lacoque and Stephanie Graham.
“When a couple does stay together for a long time, we should celebrate that and embrace it, and one of the ways to do that is to be offering insights and information about the dynamics of LGBT relationships,” Krimmer said.
The forum explored such topics as: the stress factors of having two people of the same gender in a relationship; the financial factors of same-sex relationships; and what same-sex couples can do to protect themselves legally.
“We focus on both the similarities between (same-sex) relationships and straight relationships, as well as the differences,” said Lacoque. “We also speak with forum participants about Internet addiction in particular, as there are a lot of people replacing human interaction with an unhealthy reliance on technology, spending too much time on Facebook, IM or texting instead.”
Lacoque said he wanted to provide forum attendees with the tools to recognize when they might need professional help to deal with stress factors specific to same-sex couples. A trusted line of communication between couples and professionals can be necessary for long-term commitments.
Anderson also stressed the importance of trust in a relationship, including the relationship between a financial planner and a couple.
She focused on how to select a financial planner and how people should prioritize to put their financial houses in order.
“Make sure you really feel comfortable with that person, because they likely will be making recommendations and suggestions and you have to feel comfortable and have trust,” she said.
Be sure, she advised, to ask a planner plenty of questions before committing to a professional relationship, including the details of compensation.
In her presentations, Anderson reviews the basic steps to financial stability – eliminate debt, build a reserve or “emergency fund” and establish long-term goals. Budgeting and understanding personal expenses is very important when starting out, she said.
Krimmer encouraged people to complete a number of legal documents for security: powers of attorney for healthcare and financial assignment, a will, a living will for medical situations, an advanced directive for financial decisions, a partnership agreement similar to a prenuptial and a co-parenting agreement for people with children.
Many problems can be avoided simply by taking the time to work on these items with a legal advisor, rather than waiting to do them, Kimmer stressed. He advised that LGBT people should engage an attorney to customize their wills, because the State of Wisconsin doesn’t have a template specifically for them.
