When Kyle Callen stepped onto the dance floor with another boy, the other kids at his high school homecoming party stared.
“A group of the more popular kids on the other side of the gym started pointing and laughing,” he said. “I stopped and walked away, but it was very embarrassing.”
Now Callen, who’s co-president of Pride Alliance at UW-Waukesha, is helping to organize an event where no one will suffer the humiliation he felt that night, no matter whom they choose as a date or a dance partner. “Pride Prom 2011: Masquerade,” scheduled to be held on April 30, will bring together students from local high schools and the university for a party where everyone is not only welcome but celebrated.
“One of the reasons we decided to do this is to provide an opportunity for gay teens or interracial couples or people who weren’t part of the in-crowd or the clique in high school to take part in this rite of passage,” said Lorra Ross, secretary of the organization.
“We do a lot of protesting and working toward equality but it’s also nice to come together and celebrate our differences,” said Pride Alliance member Paige Feldstein.
For many young people, prom night is a magical experience that fosters memories lasting a lifetime. But for LGBT youth it can be a traumatic experience that forces them to choose between conformity and authenticity, according to counselors who work with them.
A year ago, Mississippi high school student Constance McMillen became a hero when she insisted on wearing a tux to her prom and attending with her girlfriend. After school officials refused, she contacted the ACLU and sued.
McMillen won her legal case along with an outpouring of public support. Ellen DeGeneres presented her with a $30,000 scholarship award and Glamour magazine named her one of its Women of the Year 2010.
But McMillen’s story is far from the norm. The same month she made headlines for successfully fighting her school district, Derrick Martin, a gay teen from Cochran, Ga., was asked to leave home in the wake of publicity over his decision to take his boyfriend to the high school prom.
While alternative proms that welcome youth of different sexual orientations and gender identities have been around for nearly two decades, the UW-Waukesha prom will be a first for both the school and the famously conservative community that surrounds it.
Lisa Hager, who’s a faculty co-adviser to the Pride Alliance group, said university officials have been supportive of the event. Members of Olla, a Latino campus organization, and the African-American Union are collaborating by providing volunteers.
Representatives from the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center will also be present, hosting a table where they’ll pass out information concerning youth outreach programs and other related resources.
“We’re excited and nervous all at the same time,” Hager said. “This is the first year that we’ve had this event, so we have no idea how many people are going to show up.”
As WiG headed to press, 84 people had RSVP’ed yes on a Facebook page created for the event. More than 100 others had responded that they might attend.
Those who are headed to “Pride Prom 2011: Masquerade” still face the same concerns as their more traditional peers – who to ask and what to wear.
“We’re asking people to be very creative and go crazy” with their outfits, Ross said. She’s planning to wear a suit and a “Zorro-type mask.”
Sophomore Samantha Harvey said she’s creating a costume inspired by the band Duran Duran.
“I’m kind of going with a new wave suit thing,” Harvey said. “I’m basically going to look like a pirate.”
Callen said he’s looking for a suit at Goodwill. For him, the most important thing is that guests feel accepted, the way he did the first time he attended Milwaukee PrideFest.
“It was an amazing experience to see same-sex couples walking around holding hands,” he said. “We just want to make this (prom) a safe place where people feel like they belong and that they’re normal.”