On the record: Jesus, Dolly Parton, Dustin McDaniel, Michele Bachmann, more

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Michele Bachmann addresses the Tea Party Express. - PHOTO: Courtesy

“If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.”

— JESUS, quoted in Matthew 19:21.

“I think everyone should be with who they love. I don’t want to be controversial or stir up a bunch of trouble but people are going to love who they are going to love. I think gay couples should be allowed to marry. They should suffer just like us heterosexuals. Ha ha ha!

— DOLLY PARTON speaking with Britain’s Event magazine about her support for marriage equality.

“I’m going to zealously defend our constitution, but at the same time I think it’s important to let people know where I stand on the matter.” 

— Arkansas Attorney General DUSTIN MCDANIEL telling AP that he’ll defend his state’s constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, even though he personally opposes it. 

“Which proves that orange really is the new black.”

— PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA noting that House Republicans have grown more critical of GOP House Speaker John Boehner, who’s famous for his fake orange tan, than of him. Obama made the joke at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner. 

“I believe ultimately that this museum, which will be built on the National Mall, on federal land, will enshrine the radical feminist movement that stands against the pro-life movement, the pro-family movement and the pro-traditional marriage movement.”

— Retiring U.S. Rep. MICHELE BACHMANN warning her congressional colleagues that a National Women’s History Museum proposed for construction in the nation’s capital would become a “shrine” to “radical feminists” who believe in same-sex marriage.

“Are female breadwinners a problem? Is there a problem with men earning less in the household, and do you think that it could cause big marital problems?”

— Fox News host CLAYTON MORRIS ranting on Fox & Friends that women “breadwinners” are emasculating men’s “innate” biology.

“It would be a first-class opportunity to kick the governor for being insensitive to people with disabilities.”

— Retiring Wisconsin GOP state SEN. DALE SCHULTZ commenting on the decision to reject a proposal made by a foundation run by Scott Walker’s wife Tonette to remove the wheelchair ramp at the governor’s mansion to make the building more historically accurate. Schultz decided not to seek re-election due to the embarrassment he felt over his party’s attempts to restrict voting in a way that would disproportionately affect poor, black, elderly and student voters. 

“I think we ought to raise it.”

— Former GOP presidential candidate MITT ROMNEY expressing support for raising the minimum wage.