2329
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Written by Jamakaya
Feb 10, 2011
What is this obsession that religious zealots and anti-gay bigots have with sex and sex acts?
The latest silliness struck with news that the United Methodist Church is putting a woman minister in Wisconsin on trial for being a “self-avowed practicing homosexual.”
A “self-avowed practicing homosexual”? Kind of makes you go, hmm …
Just how long has she been practicing? Hasn’t she gotten it right yet? What lesbian describes herself as a “practicing homosexual”? Where is the “practice” held? And if she “self-avowed” it, shouldn’t we assume she’s OK with it and move on?
Not according to some churches, which, despite a few minor developments like the Enlightenment, constitutional democracy, human rights, sex research and the 21st century, are still policing and demonizing sexuality and sexual orientation.
How creepy is it that anyone would equate two people making love to necrophilia (Cal Thomas), child abuse (Anita Bryant), bestiality (Rick Santorum), sin and abomination (too many preachers to name, including apparently the leadership of the United Methodist Church)? Who are the real perverts here?
The self-avowed lesbian comedian Robin Tyler told a great joke. “If I never had sex again with another woman,” she declared, “I would still be a lesbian.” After a perfect comic pause, she deadpanned, “I wouldn’t be a happy lesbian.”
Tyler might not be a happy lesbian without sex, but she would still be a lesbian because she loves women. This is the thing anti-gay bigots don’t – or won’t – get: The issue is bigger than sex, the issue is love. Gay men and lesbians all around the world are attracted to and fall in love with people of the same sex. While not everyone is going to understand or accept modes of sexual expression different from their own, everyone loves love. It’s universal. It’s unifying. And it’s a powerful way to redirect the conversation.
I think that along with our coming-out stories, it’s time to share our love stories. Not just on Valentine’s Day but the whole year round. The LGBT community has a lot to teach the world about “practicing” love, both individually and collectively.
I know gay and lesbian couples who have been together 20, 30, 40 years. We rightfully celebrate the longevity of married straight couples. Is that kind of remarkable commitment, through good times and bad, less valid when accomplished by gay couples? And is it sex that sustains these long-term relationships? My bet is that it’s love.
Many gay and lesbian couples are raising children from previous straight relationships. Others are choosing to share their love by having their own kids. Millions of these families are without the security of the legal, financial and health protections afforded to state-sanctioned unions. Rather than seeking “special rights,” these families are simply trying to protect their loved ones.
In recent years, efforts to establish school services for LGBT kids have been denounced by homophobes. Many of us who are gay, who survived those painful years of isolation and bullying, have vowed to ease the burden on young people. What is depicted by some as a nefarious plot to “recruit” children is actually a noble effort to save lives. However much critics may snicker, this too is motivated by love.
AIDS added a new dimension to the ostracism of gay people. But we led a constructive and compassionate response, putting in limitless hours to raise money and awareness and helping those affected. The gay community’s leadership has been a model of social responsibility and it, too, was motivated by love.
So how about we all start practicing more love, this Valentine’s Day and beyond?
