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Written by Angel Sevilla
Jun 3, 2010
In light of recent personal events, I’ve decided to focus this column on the dynamics of monogamous relationships. Being a relationship-oriented person, I’ve many times found myself in positions where I’ve been faced with the choice – to cheat or not to cheat.
If you’ve ever been in this position, you’ll understand that as much as you can love your partner, temptation is a sexy bitch who’s sometimes hard to resist.
I’m not saying monogamy is wrong. I’m just saying that people are not predisposed to be monogamous.
I watched a special on the Discovery Channel called “The Science of Sex Appeal.” It revealed the subconscious aspects of attraction.
The most interesting part was when it addressed the nature behind cheating. Simply put, it stems from the fact that men by nature have the need to make babies. Men find themselves attracted to fertile, reproductively healthy women. They have sex to relieve the need to impregnate them.
But just because a man has impregnated one woman doesn’t mean that he’s freed from the instinctive need to create life. That urge is constant and, biologically speaking, that’s why a man might find it hard to say no when in a tempting situation, even if he truly loves his already pregnant partner.
Women seek out men who are biologically compatible with them in terms of baby making. They’ll choose to have sex with the alpha male who will give her a strong and healthy baby. But as far as a woman choosing a partner is concerned, she’ll choose a softer, gentler man who can help nurture her and her baby. She’ll be tempted to cheat on the alpha male with the beta male.
It’s simply just not in our nature to be completely monogamous. That said, we are humans and love complicates everything. So of course we’re going to be hurt when we get cheated on.
What I’m presenting here is some scientific logic to help calm you down when your partner says that he/she feels bad or doesn’t know what he/she was thinking. It’s just that you partner got a little more in touch with that animal side than what is socially acceptable these days.
In the case of marriage, I’d like to propose a change in the way things are done. Marriage is a commitment and a testament to true love but above all it is a contract. Ask any lawyer. I recently switched my cell phone service from T-Mobile to US Cellular, and when I signed the contract it was made very clear to me that it was a two-year agreement. So, after two years, if I decide that I’m not happy with my service, I can leave the relationship scot-free. Why are marriage contracts not this sensible?
With divorce rates sky high it would be an ideal option for millions of Americans who don‘t want to deal with divorce. I propose that marriage contracts last 10 years and that after they expire the couples can opt to go back and renew them or they can part ways and leave their marriages without the bitterness that divorce brings.
Whatever your personal situation might be, a little logic and simplification can go a long way for your relationships, past and present. And to the innocent I refused to mention in the first paragraph, he just gave in to his animal side. You can blame nature.
