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Written by Jamakaya
Dec 2, 2010
With the season to be gay in full swing, it’s time to make the holidays our own.
Twinkling stars, virgin births, couples traveling far and wide to be recognized by the state, no room for us at the inn – hey, our history and culture is embedded right there in the nativity narrative! Add a modern dollop of sugarplum fairies, dazzling light displays and group sing-a-longs and you have the fixings for a very gay yuletide.
Unfortunately, some LGBT folks experience a special kind of anxiety and ambivalence during the holidays. Parental expectations, family conflicts and feelings of alienation can dampen the holiday spirit.
The people we love and support, and those who love and support us, are not always our biological families. But whoever they are – friends, lovers, neighbors, colleagues, even pets – they are our families in the best and deepest sense. We should make plans with them, celebrate with them and share our love together. We can focus on positive attitudes that reflect our values and choose celebrations that are meaningful to us.
Some of my pagan friends celebrate Winter Solstice, an ancient observance marking the earth’s seasonal cycles of darkness and light, death and rebirth. At solstice (Dec. 21 this year), the day with the longest period of darkness gives way to the extension of sunlight and the New Year – yuletide – the following day. People gather to share memories and to express their respect for the natural cycles of life through meditation and ceremonies they design themselves.
Hanukkah marks the rededication of the temple in Jerusalem after a small band of Jews defeated occupiers in the 2nd century, BCE. Legend has it they found only enough oil to light the temple’s menorah for one day, but somehow that supply lasted eight days and nights until more could be found. Hanukkah celebrations include lighting the menorah (an additional candle each night until all eight are lit), prayers of thanks to God for deliverance, foods cooked in oil (love them latkes!), gifts and songs. The Festival of Lights, Hanukkah runs from Dec. 1-9 this year.
Kwanzaa, Swahili for “first fruits,” is a more modern invention. Rooted in the Black Nationalist movement of the 1960s, it was devised as a means for African Americans to connect with their African heritage. It is a weeklong event in which seven principles are celebrated and discussed: unity; self-determination; collective effort and responsibility; cooperative economics; purpose; creativity; and faith. Candles are lit each day, feasts are shared, and gifts that symbolize black pride and culture are exchanged. Kwanzaa is observed Dec. 26-Jan. 1.
Renewal and redemption are the themes that transcend cultures and religions at this time of year. Two classics that convey these themes splendidly are Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” and Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
I read the tale of Scrooge and watch the trials of George Bailey in alternate years and never tire of them. I start bawling five minutes into Capra’s movie (when Mr. Gower whacks young George) and hardly stop until the credits roll. I’m always amazed by Dickens’ brilliant writing and his blazing social conscience (“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”).
Dickens wrote my favorite evocation of the season, which is spoken by Scrooge’s nephew: “I have always thought of Christmastime … as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.”
Please open your hearts, don your gay apparel and enjoy the season!
