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Written by Angel Sevilla
Nov 18, 2009
What do gay men care about? What do we think about? Any person in their 20s, gay or straight, is for the most part in the same frame of mind, thinking of one thing: Sex. Those of us in our 20s are at that point in our lives when we’re suddenly faced with the world. What job should I get? What should my hair look like? Should I be dating or should I be single? And at the forefront of all of this, when am I going to have sex next? Will it be tonight? Tomorrow? I want it now!
There’s nothing wrong with this mentality — it’s human nature. The problem, though, is that gay guys nowadays seem to be completely invested in their sexual explorations and not very interested in other things that might be of value to them — such as furthering their education, becoming self sufficient, earning self respect.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met who are my age (22) or younger who have had sex for money and/or drugs, have turned to stripping as a source of income (and they were not working their way through college), or have contracted the HIV virus already as a result of having unsafe sex.
It’s a disappointing shame.
But if sex is universal, then why are gay men seemingly getting the raw end of the deal?
In the media, gay men are portrayed as people who go about life with such sexual frivolity that it’s entertaining to watch and hear about. Comedians make jokes, and gay men revel in them.
But what about the struggle that came before us that gives us the right to do what we do with no questions asked?
I can honestly tell you as a 22-year-old gay man that I’m probably not as appreciative of my gay rights as I should. It’s difficult to appreciate something for which you didn’t fight.
I was born in 1987. I don’t know anything about the Stonewall riots, or marches or protests or fighting to hold the hand of my lover out on public streets.
And on top of all that, role models these days are few and far between.
So, when I was 15 and coming out to my parents, the only interpretation I had of “gay” was the slutty one I kept seeing portrayed.
I’ve had conversations with guys my age in which I’ll ask, “What’s your motivation, what’s your passion? What’s your favorite thing to do?”
It was disappointing that so many responded, “Sex.” Really?
That’s why you wake up in the morning?
That’s how shallow you are?
So, now what we’re asking for is gay marriage, equality, and respect, but we aren’t getting these things because conservatives don’t like us.
Personally, I can kind of see why.
We aren’t presented as a people who are equal, and maybe we should look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Perhaps we aren’t presenting ourselves as people who deserve respect.
Generally speaking, young gay men have been a terrible example of what a young person should be, and this has got to stop.
Whatever happened to valuing hard work and ethics and integrity? Does that not fit into the “young gay lifestyle?”
It seems that the things that are valued now are how popular you are at the clubs, what clothes you’re wearing and whether you’ve gotten your eyebrows tweezed or threaded.
Casual sex is nothing to be ashamed about but nothing to be proud of. It’s irrelevant to the real issues of life.
Going to college, on the other hand, is something you can flaunt. Having a job instead of a sugar daddy is a reason for pride. Making something of yourself is the way to earn respect — both the respect of others and respect for yourself. This is a message to all LGBT people out there: We need to step up our game and be examples for the younger generations to come. Let’s let them know that with hard work — very hard work — anything is possible.
Angel Sevilla is a junior at the Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design with a major focus on drawing. He was born and raised in Milwaukee, where he has done volunteer work with the ACLU.
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